im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're too hungover to prance.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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