my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize