I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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