I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize