dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize