3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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