he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize