I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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