I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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