There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
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His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
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JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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