i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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