just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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