The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
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Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
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I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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