What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
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Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
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I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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