did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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