I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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