im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize