I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize