dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
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You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
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The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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