I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I have already put on my inside pants.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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