is your mom at the bar?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize