i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
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tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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