the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
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