your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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