Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I forget how to act sober
Randomize