hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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