I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
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He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
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So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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