Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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