Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
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is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
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He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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