ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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