I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
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It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize