I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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