He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
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I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize