Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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