I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
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Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
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I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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