i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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