Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
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It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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