dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize