So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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