she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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