so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
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dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
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I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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