Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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