NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
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just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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