never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
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When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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