booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize