just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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