I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize