Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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