that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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