i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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